I want you.

Travis is killing me.

I think I’m just going to let that go…I feel like it’s a pretty one sided thing going on here…

Friday he came over after I went to Golden Corral with Emma to celebrate 4/20, and we smoked a bowl and he took me to work, he didn’t have to work that night, we texted a little bit but not much, he went out partying and got shitfaced. I can only imagine what/who he did.

Saturday morning we had to work together and we ended up going to lunch together. During said lunch he casually slipped in the ‘I don’t want a relationship right now’ speech. He asked about my ex, then told me about his, and it went something like “Yeah, I’m enjoying being single, I’m probably not gonna be in another relationship until the middle of summer or after that” (which granted, the middle of summer isn’t that far away…still). While telling me about his exgirlfriend, he officially started lying to me about it. It’s hard to say Travis and I have ‘a thing’ but it’s hard to say we don’t, we’re in a very odd gray area right now. But he decided to tell me that him and his exgirlfriend weren’t on speaking terms, when I know they’re still hooking up, offially making a liar out of him. Which is incredibly unfortunate. He took me home after lunch, and texted me, but I was asleep, so I didn’t respond until he texted me that he was probably going to be late for work because he overslept, and other than that we haven’t talked since.

I never message, text, or call him first, I always wait for him to come to me, which he does…At some point.

But I’m not looking for at some point, I’m not looking to put myself as an OPTION again, I want to be a PRIORITY. Maybe I’m not looking for a deep and meaningful relationship right now, but I am not looking to be treated like crap again either.

I’m not saying Travis does treat me poorly, when we’re together he’s very sweet…But guess what, so was every body else who’s hurt me in vaguly the same way. When they were with me it was lovely, it’s what they did behind my back that killed me.

So. There it is. He may change my mind…But for now, I think I’ll just let it all fade.

We’re friends who had and intense hot make out session when we were drunk. That’s our story, that’s all it was meant to be.

“Soo I’m mad at you right now”

That’s GREAT. Wanna tell me WHY fuckface?!
I hate that shit! CLIFFHANGERS LIKE THAT CAN SUCK MY DICK.

Between my newfound ADORATION for One Direction and my budding crush on Travis, plus the great time I’ve been spending with my friends lately….Things just really are looking up for me.